December 31, 2004

New years Eve. The end of the year. A time for reflection and for looking forward. So How has my year been? It has been a year of change and growth. I have experienced the loss of a friend (dawn) and the loss of a sponser (oma). I have given my solitary exsistence and chosen to share living spaces with a roommie (angela). I have lost a job (ECE) and gained a better one (ACT!). I have opened my heart to new people and tried to address my fear and lack of trust. I have realized that it isn't that men do not find me attractive or desirable, but I am soo broken by my relationship with kev that i subconsiously do not give out the right symbols so i appear to be unapproachable and unwilling as a sexual partner (PTSD). I have joined a writing group, and although i ahven't been motivated to write or share a lot of what i have already written, i have relaized that i do have a talent and if i wasn't so afraid of failure and success i might pursue that unwriten novel.

Moving onward and upward, how can i move forward.
1. Exersise and diet
2. Wings PES Seminar
3. Get a new sponser
4. Complete my obligations that i have signed up for

Resolutions? I prefer the term goals. Will i be able to achieve tham? If i keep these goals frontal in my mind there is no doubt. the problem is I usually get misdirected.

Plans for this eve? NA Dance, of course